Wednesday, October 28, 2009
this is for someone i wont admit.
today i turned twenty and i certainly feel no different to what i did yesterday, i still feel like i need her and no matter how many times i go to pick up my phone and text her i just can't because to be completely honest, i don't want to open up to her, i don't really want her to know exactly how i feel, i just feel like i have had enough of opening up to people only to be disappointed. please don't get me wrong, i am not saying she's going to screw me over or anything like that, i just don't trust myself, everything i have got myself into in the past i have some how fucked it up and i am sick of it. i don't want to hurt her and i am really scared that i will. i don't know where i stand with her, i don't know if she actually has any feelings at all for me, i just don't know anything. i miss her most of the time and i really regret not seeing her when i was in her city. i wish i had of. she has me thinking about her all the fucking time and to be honest i am not sick of it at all because when i think about her, i don't feel so alone. x