Monday, July 20, 2009

slowly lost you too.

19/7/09
the day i broke your heart yet again, the day i was stupid enough to let you go.
the day i thought all would be okay but i was wrong.
when i said "it's over" that's when i felt my first real sting of heartbreak.
that's when i felt my world crash down around me.
you sat in the other room, you'd been on the phone all night whilst i waited to talk things over with you.
i waited and waited, i fell asleep expecting to wake up next to you but no sign of you when i wake.
i was scared, i was confused as to where you were.
that's when i realized, you didn't care, you didn't care how far i had traveled just to see you because you left me alone, especially when you promised you'd never leave.
you left me in your room while i fought battles with my own head, you told me you couldn't handle me in such a state.
i was falling apart while you sat in the other room, laughing like nothing was wrong.
it made me so sick.
i loved you with everything i had but you, you had to give up when i needed you.
i hate you for that simple fact.
i had nobody, i was somewhere i had never been before, i didn't have anyone to run and talk to but you, you did and you were fine.
you don't understand how much you hurt me, how much i just wanted to die.
i seriously was so ready to leave this life, leave my friends, my family and everything i had spent building because YOU didn't care.
you told me you'd never take me back, i don't blame you but why can't you see?
it wasn't all my fault.
i still love you, i still think of you 24 fucking 7.
i still smell you at times but you're nowhere around.
i still hear you but your nowhere to be seen.
i fucking hate this.
i just want to feel normal again.
:|

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